E.E.G...

This morning we went to Mary Greeley Hospital in Ames and RJ had another E.E.G. This is the second one that he has had done since the seizure's started. The first one was right after his grand mall, so they weren't able to monitor him having one during the test. This time we were more lucky you could say. They started off the procedure with having him open and close his eyes a bunch of times. Then they had him breathe deeply trying to hyperventilate for 3 minutes. They then said for him to close his eyes and try to sleep for 20 minutes, and I bet after maybe after 5 minutes he went into a seizure. It was very very strong and he hurt his hands from clutching them together so hard. His jaw is very sore from his mouth being clamped shut and he said his chest feels now like it is being torn apart and it feels like he pulled his shoulder out of socket. My husband has been through so much. I got to sit next to the hospital bed while they did the e.e.g and I was crying when it happend. I didn't know if I could touch him or talk to him in case that might mess up the testing, but once it was almost over the tech pryed his hands apart and said I could hold his hand. It seemed to calm him down a bit, but he was still having the seizure. I HATE to see him go through this. I wiped away my tears and didn't let him see that I had been crying, that would have made it worse.
I know that he isn't going to die but that is my worst fear and what I think about everyday. I am just waiting for that next big horrible thing to happen and have him taken from me. I can't live without him and I don't want to raise our girls without him. He want's so much to just be normal again. I just keep telling him that he will be ok and we will figure this out.... He is scared and so am I.
Hopefully we should hear from the doctor this week on the results and then we will figure out what to do from there.... I am keeping my fingers crossed for an answer or a miracle....